Installing a Husband

Dear Tech Support,

Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and noticed a distinct slow down in overall system performance, particularly in the flower and jewellery applications, which operated flawlessly under Boyfriend 5.0.

In addition, Husband 1.0 uninstalled many other valuable programs, such as> Romance 9.5 and Personal Attention 6.5, and then installed undesirable programs such as NBA 5.0, NFL 3.0 and Golf Clubs 4.1 .
Conversation 8.0 no longer runs, and Housecleaning 2.6 simply crashes the system.

Please note that I have tried running Nagging 5.3 to fix these problems,
but to no avail.

What can I do?
Signed,
Desperate.

---

DEAR DESPERATE,
First, keep in mind,

Boyfriend 5.0 is an Entertainment Package, while Husband 1.0 is an operating system.

Please enter command: ithoughtyoulovedme.html,
try to download Tears 6.2, and do not forget to install the Guilt 3.0 update.
If those applications work as designed, Husband 1.0 should then automatically run the applications Jewellery 2.0 and Flowers 3.5.

However, remember, overuse of the above application can cause Husband 1.0 to default to
Grumpy Silence 2.5, Happy Hour 7.0, or Beer 6.1.

Please note that Beer 6.1 is a very bad program that will download the Farting and Snoring Loudly Beta.

Whatever you do, DO NOT under any circumstances install Mother-In-Law 1.0 (it runs a virus in the background that will eventually seize control of all your system resources.)

In addition, please do not attempt to reinstall the Boyfriend 5.0 program.
This is an unsupported application and will crash Husband 1.0.

In summary, Husband 1.0 is a great program, but it does have limited memory and cannot learn new applications quickly.
You might consider buying additional software to improve memory
and performance.
We recommend you try Cooking 3.0 and Hot Lingerie 7.7

Good Luck...!!!

Tech Support

The Frog and golf

A man goes out golfing.
He is on the second hole when
he notices a frog sitting next to the green.
He thinks nothing of it and is about to shoot when he hears, "Ribbit 9 Iron."

The man looks around and doesn't see anyone.
Again, he hears, "Ribbit 9 Iron."
He looks at the frog and decides to
prove the frog wrong, puts the club
away, and grabs a 9 iron.
Boom!
He hits it 10 inches from the cup.
He is shocked. He says to the frog,
"Wow that's amazing.
You must be a lucky frog?"
The frog replies, "Ribbit Lucky frog."
The man decides to take the frog with
him to the next hole.
"What do you think frog?" the man asks.

"Ribbit 3 wood."
The guy takes out a 3 wood and Boom!
Hole in one.
The man is befuddled and doesn't know

what to say.

By the end of the day, the man golfed
the best game of golf in his life and asks

the frog, "OK where to next?"
The frog replies, "Ribbit Las Vegas ."

" They go to Las Vegas and the guy says,

"OK frog, now what?"

The frog says, "Ribbit Roulette."
Upon approaching the roulette table,
the man asks, "What do you think I
should bet?"

The frog replies, "Ribbit $3000, black 6."
Now, this is a million-to-one shot to win, but after the golf game the man figures what the heck.
Boom!
Tons of cash comes sliding back across
the table.

The man takes his winnings and buys the best room in the hotel.

He sits the frog down and says, "Frog,

I don't know how to repay you.
You've won me all this money and I am

forever grateful."
The frog replies, "Ribbit Kiss Me."
He figures why not, since after all the

frog did for him, he deserves it.

With a kiss, the frog turns into a
Gorgeous girl.

"And that is how the girl ended up in my room Elin. So help me God or my name is not Tiger Woods."

Am I really doing this? Blogging...Isn't it for folks having nothing else to do... No, either I have nothing better to do or my former assumption is incorrect...We'll see how I fare in blog-land...I welcome myself...